


tangled limbs on a cold floor

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben is back, Comfort, Depression, F/M, broken galaxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Rey isn’t okay. Ben can’t fix it. So he just holds her.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 20
Kudos: 40





	tangled limbs on a cold floor

**Author's Note:**

> Because I’m not okay today. And that’s... okay.
> 
> No alpha or beta. All mistakes are my own.

* * *

Ben wakes alone in his cot, and that’s his first conscious thought for whatever day this is—he still doesn’t know. Hasn’t caught up to time since...well,  coming back .

“Rey!”

That’s his second conscious thought and he lunges out of bed. Throws the blanket aside, the metallic floor cold against his bare feet. 

“Rey?” He calls out as the door of the captain’s quarters hisses open. Cold bites at his shirtless chest, but that’s nothing compared to the freezing and seizing of his heart when silence is his only answer. He gulps a large breath as he moves to the common area.

Tries again. “Rey?”

“Here...”

The desperate pounding in his ears starts to slow, but he’s not okay until he sees her with his own two eyes.

And even then...

He’s not okay.

It shatters him all over again. In a different way.

One that runs deeper than frantic loss.

She’s curled around herself on the floor of a mostly dark common room. Knees drawn up to her chest as she clings to herself. Everything about her cries out “lost” and “alone”.

And Ben doesn’t know how to slay those enemies.

He kneels down in front of her. Tucking two fingers under her chin.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“You were dead, Ben.” She bites down on her lip, shaking her head hard. Stray locks of brown hair are caught in an chaotic dance around her face, as if to guard the swelling of tears in her eyes.

And Ben can’t take it anymore.

He gathers her up, wrapping her in his arms around her small frame, holding her to his chest. And Rey...

She cries.

Great sobs tear through the stillness of the ship as Ben embraces her.

He’s never thought of her as fragile before—she’s always been fierce. Bold. Certain. Even that night in the hut; she was the one who’d reached for him first. Stretched her hand across the distance between them, as if knowing she could reach across the galaxy and brush his fingers with hers.

But she’s fragile now.

Fragile and breaking and crying.

And that’s... okay. Because Rey is just as human as him and can feel as broken and alone and hurt as he has...

Except that he doesn’t want it to be okay. Because he hates she feels this way.

“I’m not anymore, though,” he tries, but that only makes her wail.

“I know.” She finally chokes out. She sniffles and swipes at her ears and nose with one hand. The other traces absently over his chest. It’d be hypnotic and a sign for...for... _ things _ ... other different circumstances.

But here and now...

Ben commands his body to behave and focus only in Rey. On cradling her cheeks in his hands, stroking his thumb along the line of her cheekbone.

Her jaw trembles as her lips part. “I know you’re here and back and I know I’ve accepted there isn’t an explanation. I know I should just be happy and we have all this time now.”

“But...?”

“It’s so much still.” Her throat bobs and her hands float to his, delicate fingers curling around his wrists. “Poe is so angry all the time and won’t even listen about talks of trials. He just wants to punish everyone with any association to the First Order. Finn tried to talk to him, but that only hurts him. Rose has some really brilliant ideas, I think at least, but what do I know of government and politics, and no one is listening to her anyways and it’s all so... so...”

“Broken.” He smiles sadly at her. “It’s a broken galaxy still. The war still isn’t over, because too many are still fighting.” 

“Yeah.” Rey drops her hands and lets herself fall back into his chest. His arms act on instinct, banding around her frame and holding on tight. “It’s so broken and we’re supposed to be the Jedi to fix it and I don’t know how to, Ben. I don’t know how. And I don’t know if I even want to. It’s too much.”

“I know, sweetheart.” His throat is thick and there’s sand in his mouth as he tries to swallow. “I know.”

He sits and holds her. Or maybe it’s Rey holding him. Or maybe it’s the two of them falling into each other, falling back into a troubled sleep, clinging tightly to each other.

Waking hours and hours later in a tangle of limbs on the cold floor.


End file.
